Over the years of being a teenager, I have realized one thing and that is, to be silent than sorry. This is tough for me to do because I am the kind of person that likes to get my opinion out there and to have my voice be heard. At times, I may cross the line and come off as aggressive or rude, but that is never my intention. I just like to debate a lot and see others opinions and feelings about things. But one thing that can trigger me the most is, having to debate with someone that is closed minded.
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This made me think a lot and wonder how can I stay silent, but still have my opinion be heard? So, I started to observe how others behave themselves with closed minded people. I saw how they did not even have to agree or disagree with the person they are debating with. They simply spoke their opinion and listened to their opponent's opinion. If a disagreement occurred, they would compromise and end the discussion; agree to disagree.
I knew I could not just agree to disagree with someone. I am the kind of person that tries to understand someone else's point of view and compromise with it, not let it go easily. Since observing others did not help me much, I surfed the web. I found a lot of results, but this one stood out the most. It gave me examples and reasons to act the way I should with anyone I am in a debate or dialogue with. Even though we cannot always be right or have others believe what we believe, we can still compromise and respect different ideas. What would this world be if everyone thought the same? Boring!
Hello Ravii,
ReplyDeleteAs a relatively quiet person, I rarely ever have a problem with being too loud; however, I can understand where you are coming from. Some of my friends are extremely out spoken, and get into fights fluently because of it. The thing is, outspoken people always say what is on their minds. Outspokenness is not always bad. Frankness can be a good thing, and shyness can be a bad thing. Loud people, usually, say what they want to say all the time, but if a quiet person yells, even once, people freak out.
I hope you find the perfect balance and continue to be yourself.
Also, what made you decide that you needed to “tone it down”?
Goodbye,
SiouxsieandShilo
Great post, Ravila! I am the same as you when it comes to debating. I always want people to know my point of view and it's frustrating when people don't listen. As good as compromising is sometimes, other times all you're doing is watering down what you believe so that the other person is comfortable with it. I think it would be better in some cases to tell people what I believe and if they don't agree, that's fine. Sometimes a watered down compromise is worse that a complete disagreement.
ReplyDeleteZoe, I can totally relate with you about friends fighting over disagreements. I am not the type to be shy, at least not in school. I like to talk a lot and loud so my voice can be heard. I guess I got it from my mom because her voice is loud as well. I feel like it's a powerful thing, to have a loud voice. But at the same time, no one likes loud people for too long. What made me decide to tone it down because a lot of people and even teachers tend to drop hints on me. They give me the look or even straightforwardly tell me that I need to quit it and keep my mouth shut at times, lol. And thank you! I hope I do to too!
ReplyDeleteKristin, thank you! I appreciate your compliment about my post. I know what you mean about having to be frustrated during debates, especially when you know the person is wrong, haha.
ReplyDeleteRavii, I enjoyed reading your post. I have known you for almost seven years now and I can sure agree with you when you say it’s hard for you to keep silent. I believe a person should not have to be quiet, if they want to speak up everyone has their own ideas and they should be able to speak up. I am similar but also different as you I am really quiet but when someone says something and I do not agree I say something. I try to control myself if I am triggered to have a debate by taking a deep breath and walking away, or think is something else. What are some ways you control yourself when you are triggered to have a debate?
ReplyDeleteMuhadasa, I can't believe I have been friends with you for seven years already! But yes, I do know that at times, you're a very quiet person. You're polite when you debate with people and I admire that about you. As you know, I'm not lol, but that's okay. What I do to control myself when I am triggered to have a debate is to question myself if that person is really worth my time or not.
ReplyDelete