People Suck

In the end, everyone leaves you. Whether be it your best friend, boyfriend/girlfriend or family; all of them leave you. They wake up one day and decide that they don't want you in their life anymore. Reasons don't even matter anymore because they want nothing to do with you. They pretend like you meant nothing to them and all the memories you had together never existed. I saw their true colors and hated myself for trusting them.

This is when I learned that I want to be distant with people. I lost too many people to become close with another and lose them as well. I learned that it was not my fault. I was good to them and loved them with all my heart, but they just didn't value me enough. They didn't think I was good enough. Everything becomes questioned and I start to wonder if the relationship was ever real? All the promises, the memories, the laughs, the jokes, the hopes, the goals, the future, the feelings and the bonding. Was it all real or just lies? I can never completely understand why people commit to you and then leave you. They promise you to stay with you forever, but then one day, they decide to leave you hanging and make you deal with all the pain and a broken heart. They want you to pick up those pieces and get over it. They expect you to be strong enough to move on.

                                          Image Credit: http://www.findingthegracewithin.com/?tag=five-minute-friday

And when everything started falling apart and I felt like the world was ending for me, I listened to every sad song out there. This time I listened to the lyrics not just the song. I let myself to deal with the emotions I had and to release them. Whatever you can think of, I did it; crying, punching, screaming, catching my breath, kicking -- finally breaking down in silence. My heart was and still is broken and even time can't fix it this time. Of course, I wanted to talk to someone and have someone listen to me, but obviously I had no one. That's when I realized that I can get myself back up and show the people that left me that I don't need them. I finally woke up from a nightmare and lived reality.